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  • That's Ms. Morgan Britt To You

by Morgan Osman May 02, 2020 91 Comments

Self-love. Self-worth. Self-esteem. Respect. Integrity. Pride. Morals. 
These are all words that I’ve had to teach myself (the hard way) the definition and personal meaning of. I’m still shocked every time, like it’s the first time when someone says they “look up to me.” Look up to me for what?! Usually, 9 times out of 10, the answer is for my strength. People look up to me for my strength? What exactly makes a person strong? What do you have to go through in life in order for you to become strong? Every single person will have a different answer. No two stories are the same, and no one can judge the next person. Just because I think what I went through was so terrible, doesn’t discredit what someone else has gone through. Trust me, it could ALWAYS be worse. Imagining what some abused children, foster kids, domestic violence survivors, war vets, cancer survivors, homeless people, refugees have been through...the list goes on forever - Imagining what others have been through breaks my heart. I’ve been obsessed with psychology since I can remember. Nature Vs. Nurture is a constant in my mind. I'm infatuated with Marilyn Monroe's childhood, documentaries about anything involving drugs, murders, child abuse and human sex trafficking. Anxiety, fear, depression, pressure, stress, and worrying all play into our daily lives in one way or another, how we deal with them is unique to each and every one of us. I've researched the fuck out of all of these things, hoping to get a better understanding of how what I've been through has made me who I am today. I’ve always been fascinated with mental health long before “mental health” was even a topic. My mother is diagnosed Bipolar I. Bipolar I disorder (pronounced "bipolar one" and also known as manic-depressive disorder or manic depression) is a form of mental illness. A person affected by bipolar I disorder has had at least one manic episode in his or her life. [The main difference between bipolar 1 and bipolar 2 disorders lies in the severity of the manic episodes caused by each type. A person with bipolar 1 will experience a full manic episode, while a person with bipolar 2 will experience only a hypomanic episode, a period that's less severe than a full manic episode.] I realized at a very young age that she had "issues," but not until much later did I realize that her issues can/would become mine. My childhood really shaped me and made me who I am today. As I became a woman, I started to peel back the layers and learn why I am who I am. What life circumstances have made me Morgan Brittany Osman?  
How can we love when we aren’t shown love. How can we demand respect when it wasn’t given to us. I’ve been on this journey for a long time now, and not until recently have I started to piece together why I’m “so strong.” As I became more sober I started to understand things better. As I stated in my previous post, I’ve done a lot of recreational drugs. I’ve never been addicted to anything, but taking drugs 4 to 5 times a week, staying out until the morning definitely clouded my brain for years. From 18-25 I partied regularly. You become irrational, erratic and misunderstanding of your own self. Since about 28 years old I’ve really "chilled out", but these last two years I’ve stayed more sober than ever. I’m 31 now (32 in July) for those who don’t know. I thought being single and sober I would easily figure out Morgan. I thought I would know why I made the past choices I made and know not to make them again. Boy was I wrong! It’s been the complete opposite. So many deep rooted issues surfaced. Things from 4 years old until now have come up hard and heavy. I started to feel super anxious all the time and decided to face them head on. It’s been really hard but rewarding along the way. I was determined to figure out what my definition of all those things I listed above were. How can I appear to the public to be so strong and demanding of respect when I didn’t feel like I even respected myself.
My childhood is definitely a NY Times Best Seller. I will elaborate on it from time to time here, I just haven’t decided how yet. I’ve found that when a topic/blog idea comes up, just run with it. Don’t force any of this Morgan. Don’t run and create content just for the sake of creating. So with that being said, I will probably refer back my childhood a lot because it’s still so present now but, I’ll elaborate much more in the future. Since my mother is considered “mental health,” her problems were mine from the minute I was born. She wasn’t capable of raising her children but we all somehow came out fine. She got pregnant at 16 years old with my older brother and me at 19. She dropped out of high school the day before graduation. Yup! The day before. My older brother lived with my incredible grandparents and my younger brother (later) lived with his amazing father. Me, I was stuck. My mother was fixated on me and she never let up. I don’t mean in a good way - she was literally obsessed with me and obsessively verbally and physically abused me from the age of 4. People from my past who know or saw this, message me to this day shocked that I am where I am in life. It was very common where I was raised to have a broken abusive home, but my mother was next level. I never went to a mall, sporting event, park, kids birthday party, concert, school dances or had friends over while in her care. Yes, I did do some of those things with other family members or if I snuck it in, but for the most part, it was a hard no. You knew to not even ask. She was sick (mentally) and I was her CONSTANT target from the moment she woke until the moment she went to sleep. She didn’t keep any food or snacks in the house. I remember I would sneak over my friends houses when she was at work and steal fruit snacks, granola bars and candy from them. One time my friends mother caught me and I was so ashamed, but she clearly knew something was wrong. At a very young age I learned to manipulate just to get a meal. I had to learn my way around her illness and I became hyper sensitive and very aware. Her verbal abuse is what has destroyed me most to this day. I was never ever told I was beautiful, funny or smart. I was never held, kissed or hugged. I was never congratulated or told she’s proud of me. Instead, daily I was called a bitch, cunt, whore, liar....you get the idea. I was beat with belts, bats, kicked, punched... (whatever she felt like that day) her delivery was scary and derogatory. She moved me between two towns over 15 times before the age of 16. Yes, I've counted and can remember over 15 times, many of the times living with her friends and their children. One town was urban, poor and hardcore. The other was white, rich and stiff. Obviously thats why I'm a combination of all of those things, metaphorically speaking. I've asked her why and she says: "Because I just didn't pay the rent or care." Mind you, my mother made over $120,000 a year working for the Department Of Mental Retardation. She worked in group homes a few towns over with disabled men/women. Just to be clear, this isn't the same as my mothers illness. She was mentally ill and we (my mother/family) didn't know she was ill until she was diagnosed much later in life. I never had a bed. She once got me metal bunkbeds but never put a mattress on them. I slept on the living room floor on a blanket until I was about 11 years old. I could go on and on but I become very emotional when I read this, and I think you guys get a pretty good understanding of what this can do to someone. I lived on constant eggshells and fear until I was 16. My mother is one of 8 children. My aunts and uncles are all "normal" good people. My grandparents were incredible. My grandfather served in two wars, and my grandmother worked at the bank and sang in the church choir. While they were still alive my life was a LITTLE better, they were my escape. No one really knew how bad it was because my mother hid it so well, hence being bipolar. She could turn it on and off in the blink of an eye, making my life even scarier and darker because she was that manipulative. I had to be very calculated and smart just to survive (her). School was also an escape for me but I was very hyper and constantly "acting out," attention seeking the wrong way. I was "popular" because I was harmless but as I got older that changed. Girls started bullying me A LOT and school became difficult as well. Home was hell and school was just draining. I was constantly in after school detention. One time I asked to use the restroom and the teacher said "No." so I defiantly mumbled "It's not like I have a bomb or anything." Oops! That was not a joke to be made. I had to go to court over this and after calling my mom a "bitch" in front of the judge, I was sent to Juvenile Detention A.K.A prison for bad kids. The thing is, I wasn't a bad kid, I was simply a product of my environment and didn't know better. My mother willingly signed me out of high school after this at age 16. I was on house arrest with an ankle monitor when I got out of Juvenile Detention. This was way worse than the detention center, I actually loved being away from my mother and had a blast there. Shortly after, my mother became heavily addicted to drugs and disappeared. And well, that's an entire other story. Despite it all, I always smiled through the pain. I was a very happy/friendly kid, and a very beautiful one. So! Back to the question, how can I love myself or anyone else when my first love language is abuse?  How can I have self respect when I was constantly disrespected?
As I got older I became very reckless. I was never promiscuous because I was so insecure, I had no self worth. I ran around pretending not to give ONE FUCK when in reality, I was hurting so badly. I used my humor as a guard making fun of myself so no one else could. I became the life of the party every where I went as a cover up to how ugly, worthless and empty I really felt. I did drugs to be accepted. I ran with an older crowd to be cooler and was constantly out "living it up." I dated the most god awful men, even at a young age because I didn’t know any better. The shit I saw my mother do and say daily really made me. If you think my stories are wild, wait until you hear about hers/ours! Anyway, I didn’t respect myself and not until about 2 years ago did I really start to understand why and want to change that. I suppressed it all for so long and it was (and still is) time to release and live my power. Be that strong woman everyone sees me as. Social media is not real life. Even in my most proud/pretty posts you’ll find there’s an actual story behind it. Whether it be something so simple as having pimples that day, but photoshopping them off - all the way to walking the carpet at the Amfar Gala (proud moment) but having the biggest fight with Philipp and leaving before dinner even arrived, there’s always a story. I think this holds true for about 90% of people on instagram. You only see what people choose to show and that’s usually the best of the best “this will get the most likes” post. My life has had some incredible highs and I’m forever grateful for them, but just because it looked good doesn’t mean I was treating MYSELF good. I allowed so much bullshit and drama to take over because I kind of didn’t know better. I was raised in constant chaos and confusion. Once I’d had enough I made it my sole purpose in life to love myself and demand respect. I woke up and decided I’m not going to settle. I’m not going to do it for Instagram, likes, haters, status, attention or money. I’m going to face my fucking demons and come out on the other side. At 30 years old, just before my 31st birthday I left Philipp for the final time. This was a very big deal for me personally. I had went back to him (publicly) in March 2019 and left in May 2019. This will all come in another post but my point is, I knew leaving him this final time meant I was serious about self respect and self love. I’m not stating he was disrespectful (eh, sometimes) I’m saying, I woke up and knew I would never grow while I was with him. That’s not his fault, I had to do this for me. I HAD to at least TRY and figure all my of shit out. Alone! That was the turning point, that’s when I knew I was 100% serious about this hard fucking journey that I’m still on. Once I left him I met plenty of men (most of them his fans) and plenty of decent ones, but first I had to work on self-love, only then could I demand they love/respect me. A man can smell an insecure vulnerable woman from a mile away, but I've always made sure they couldn’t with me. I have mastered this. I know exactly what to do and say for you to think I’ve got my shit together and I don’t need you, that only makes them want you more. But I didn’t have my shit together and I needed to step out of the dating scene and get real with myself. Once I started to really dive into “me,” I was then able to demand respect. Since I’ve become so in tune with who I am as a person naturally people have become more respectful and real. They can feel it like I can feel them. I have a best friend who would never ever date the men I have, and she would remind me all the time, “Babe what are you doing with these men.” I didn’t understand her for so long. She is so confident and straight forward with what she wants, expects and will/will not accept. She doesn’t take shit from anyone. I looked up to that and started to be the same way. If I don’t demand it, no one will give it.
The first step to developing a positive lifestyle is to realize you need to make changes in how you live in addition to how you think. I’ve used my past as a foundation instead of a crutch. I stopped feeling sorry for myself and stood up for myself. I stopped constantly overthinking and obsessing. I decided to let go, relax and enjoy the process. I dig deep to see what really lights my soul on fire and I do those things. I was never taught any of this. In fact, it’s crazy how far I’ve come and the things I’ve accomplished given where I came from. I used to always downplay my wins no matter how big or small. Now I celebrate every moment, every dollar (literally $1) and every accomplishment. I pat myself on the back. I hold my head high and constantly tell myself you are “THAT BITCH!” Period! I’m not (as) scared anymore. I don’t hide from my failures and I know that it’s not my fault. It’s not my fault I was treated the way I was as a child. It’s not my fault I allowed people to hurt me later in life. I forgave and I grew. It’s the most liberating powerful feeling I have ever felt. It’s unexplainable. At the end of the day, YOU have to believe it if you want to see it. The power of your attitude determines your happiness. You have the power to choose. When you choose to have a negative outlook on life, you open yourself to an endless amount of negative consequences. You feel helpless, suffer physically and emotionally and block yourself from opportunities, like I have myself. It's important to form healthy productive habits. Always think win-win, be proactive, be punctual, be polite, practice prayer, worship and inspirational reading. I have a very close relationship with God. If you know me, you know that I'm often talking out loud to God throughout my day. You don't have to be religious to talk to whoever you think "the man upstairs" is. If you don't believe in God, that's your problem. This is MY blog, my platform and God is everything to me. I count my blessings daily. I thank him (and my grandmother) for keeping me safe and making me softer. I thank him for allowing me to grow through what I go through. I changed so many bad habits without forcing it. Naturally I'm changing for the better without losing character. Not only have I delt with so much hate as a child but I seem to be so misunderstood as an adult. People have the complete wrong idea about me because of how I've chose to live my life. They don't know I was subconsciously protecting myself. They don't know that I would do anything to help the next person and I'm quite harmless. They only see funny, sarcastic, at times rude and defensive (okay, A LOT of times rude and defensive) Morgan. Sometimes it takes a long time to see the results of having a positive outlook. Most of us expect instant feedback for our efforts, but it doesn't always work out that way. To achieve any goal, you must first believe it's possible. Always keep your goal in sight. If you lose sight of your goals, your determination will waver. I'm not trying to change anyone's opinion about me. I'm not here to persuade people into thinking I'm an angel, I'm far from it and that OK. I am who I am. I'm strong and able to tell my story only because now I understand it better myself. Had you asked me to do this any other time I don't know that I could have. Only recently have I really let go and said "Fuck it!" You're special, you ARE different and the world should know from your mouth, not from some weird forum where people are wildly obsessed with me. Side note: I can see that (disgusting) forum has been on my website a lot already ;) People should know where my strength and power has come from. Everyone has a story and I think sharing mine is really cool. I don't have to. I make $2.49 every time someone subscribes to my website, that is definitely not the reason why I'm sharing all of this. I want women, or anyone reading this to know that it’s okay to have put yourself through fucked up shit, you can come out too. I want young girls to hold their heads high and know that having standards doesn’t make you a bitch. Do whatever makes you happy. Unapologetically!! In your home, relationships, at work and in friendships. Every fucking day, hold your power and live your truth. Trust me, it’s the best feeling in the world. I think it feels even better when you are broke, scared or struggling. I think that’s when you really know, and that’s when you’ll come out even stronger. Remember, it takes no time to pretend but it takes a lot of time to heal. ♥️ Loving Yourself Is The Highest Power ♥️
 -- I purposely didn't add pictures to this post, I don't think they would have made a difference. This truly comes from my heart and represents where I am in life right now. I can't wait to look back and read this in 5 years, imagine where I'll be then! Who knows, but I'll know this felt right at the time and I can't wait for the future. 
And! I am not looking for sympathy comments about my childhood/past. That's not even the half of it, I'm just explaining what I have personally found to be the reasons why I am a strong woman. As always, I hope you guys enjoy or can relate to my journey.
Yours Truly,
That Bitch!
 

Morgan Osman
Morgan Osman

Author


91 Responses

Nikki
Nikki

January 13, 2021

Your story resonates with me so much. I love your stories keep writing bb girl. I look forward to it!

Viv
Viv

July 29, 2020

Wow! Thank you so much for sharing. You write so beautifully & inspiring. Congratulations on this amazing blog of yours <3

Courtney Brea
Courtney Brea

June 13, 2020

Another amazing read. I just joined and I’m loving it !!! Morgan is the real deal ❤️

Sanny
Sanny

May 25, 2020

U r just the BEST!!
💎 💜☀️🌹🥰💐💐💐

Lola
Lola

May 24, 2020

Just subscribed 30 minutes ago & already in tears

Ann A
Ann A

May 23, 2020

I had no idea who you were until 3 hours ago when a friend sent me a link to an Instagram post with you pulling your pants down midway (hah!). I don’t even have Instagram so stumbling upon that post in itself is improbable on the best of days. Some googling later I find out a few fun facts and then come upon your website. Truth be told I was just looking because you are beautiful! I too am 33 , female , Canadian – and I was most interested in your article about your Plastic surgery. I clicked on it and see i need to subscribe. No problem. then see i need to pay. Gladly. What i was NOT expecting was to read a deeply honest and heartfelt piece full of growth and hope and kindness and resilience. You are a beautiful soul and it radiates from your writing. I wish you all the best. I like to think i don’t judge people at all but i would have passed judgement mostly out of envy if I had seen you in line at a Starbucks. This post has reminded me how important it is to cleanse my soul of that subconscious reflex to assume anything about anyone. I think you’ll do so many things in this lifetime that will contribute to humanity, because of your experiences and growth through it all. Thank you for sharing. Off to eat a slice of humble pie myself.

Much love from Toronto, Canada

Ann

Yayi
Yayi

May 22, 2020

Morgan I follow u since you work at mansion I don’t have the pleasure to know you personally but I feel u and admire u do much , I had an stron I dance with a lot of deep histories , I’m right now battling with my becoming best version , I feel connected si much with you , because I did manny similar things I used to use manny drugs and have fun and always feel empty inside , trying always to help people and always forgetting myself, always put everyone as a pr less than myself , I always knew I sure that you history was hard, people had the habit to judge book for the cover , I love people like you honest and open , for my my values are my biggest gift from god , I’m te same way believe I’m really I’m , i hope one I can meet you , and I wish be my best version like you did , love u Morgan and still be that bitch

Amalia
Amalia

May 22, 2020

This is why I look forward to your posts so much! So incredibly inspiring. You’re an amazing writer 😍

Caitlin
Caitlin

May 22, 2020

This is an amazingly touching post 💜

Danni
Danni

May 15, 2020

I just want to say I hope you truely grasp how many women and young girls you’ll help when you share these parts of you. Your own story of a David vs Goliath will inspire for weeks and years to come. Thank you for sharing ❤️

JV Aguilar
JV Aguilar

May 13, 2020

dude I love your shirts so much. I wore it the other day and some random guy said “who is that on your shirt” and I replied “she’s a business woman”

Karla
Karla

May 12, 2020

Everyone is fighting their own battle.. The most important is that you know your worth and who you are!! I used to read loads of Instagram bulls*it stories and there is something that’s make you special – You always keep everything real! Thanks for sharing your story it’s very touching but at the same time its helps me to realise who I am and who I want to be! Love & respect xx

Victoria
Victoria

May 11, 2020

I know I’m always telling you this but I’ll say it again I Love you sis! Thank you for your heart 💖

MANNA
MANNA

May 10, 2020

Seriously write a book!

Ashley
Ashley

May 10, 2020

Beautiful & inspiring. Thank you for sharing yourself with us. This post hits hard… in a good way❤️

Mona
Mona

May 09, 2020

Thank you for this post Morgan. I was in tears, because of how much I related. For me, I am on a journey of self forgiveness. I believe when I forgive myself for my mistakes, that’s when I can learn to love myself. This post reminds me that I can forgive myself and we all make mistakes. I hope to be where you are in your journey of self love in the near future.

Brittany
Brittany

May 07, 2020

Wow ! This was so amazing to read I have chills, that’s so sad about your childhood . Your so right about how people only post the good parts on IG . Thank you so much for being so real . Love this website so glad you did it xoxo Brit

Morgan Osman
Morgan Osman

May 07, 2020

I just wanted everyone to know I read and feel all of your comments. I appreciate everyone being so open with me. I’m waiting for this platform to allow me to respond to you individually. Unfortunately, this time it’s still not available. It’s really upsetting to me as I stated in the past, because that was the whole point of this platform. I wish I could respond to each and everyone of you. Just know that I see your comments and I they mean a lot to me. I’m loving all of the love 💕

Roxy
Roxy

May 06, 2020

I admire your courage for telling your story. Reading some of the comments, shows how you have helped so many readers with your experience. It is rare to find that extremely compassionate and understanding soul, that exudes the most sincere form of honesty. Your personal bravery is inspiring. God Bless xoxo

Roxy
Roxy

May 06, 2020

I admire your courage for telling your story. Reading some of the comments, shows how you have helped so many readers with your experience. It is rare to find that extremely compassionate and understanding soul, that exudes the most sincere form of honesty. Your personal bravery is inspiring. God Bless xoxo

Amberlee
Amberlee

May 05, 2020

Thank you so much for sharing this post. your post has made me to into my past and see how i’ve treated myself for the past few years. Which was complete shit and still is. But reading this is very inspiring and encourages me to switch my outlook on my life. To accept my past for what it was but keep it pushing. I had to write a personal essay about the relationship between my father and I for my class and at the end I wrote that “let the past go. the world doesnt go on pause because you cant let something go” and reading your post reminded me of this sentence. Your blog really makes my day and it’s so refreshing. Thank you again. Can’t wait for your next post!!

Mary B
Mary B

May 05, 2020

Amazing…
You are Amazing.
God is Amazing.
Keep following your light!!
Your words ….simply Amazing!

Mary B
Mary B

May 05, 2020

Amazing…
You are Amazing.
God is Amazing.
Keep following your light!!
Your words ….simply Amazing!

Michelle
Michelle

May 05, 2020

Got a little teary at the start there, was rushing to finish my assignments to come and read this haha. I felt like i needed to hear this, i needed this type of motivation. You truly are amazing Morgan, keep it up. Much love xoxo

kirra
kirra

May 05, 2020

You are fucking special Xox love you girl

Haley Sexton
Haley Sexton

May 04, 2020

This is everything! I know myself and millions of people/women can relate to this on so many different platforms. Thank you for sharing this with us and being so vulnerable!! Can’t wait to read all your future posts! You’re amazing :)

Natalie
Natalie

May 04, 2020

Thank you for sharing, I have suffered through something similar as child which caused me a lot of pain through out my 20s. It is comforting to know that there is light at the end of the tunnel. After reading this I feel strong, not so shameful of my past and feel reassured that I am moving forward and I don’t have to wear my past everyday.

catalina
catalina

May 04, 2020

How much I love you ❤️

Kristina
Kristina

May 03, 2020

I used to punish myself for my horrible past but I learned to use it as strength. I’m not always good at it and I let fear and anxiety over come me at times. From everything I’m constantly building a life for myself where I make the rules. My own money and get to make decisions based on what I want now. Nothing is a better feeling at the end of the day.

Annelise
Annelise

May 03, 2020

Morgan,
You inspire me to let go of obsessing and fear and start letting in the positive. I related so much to you in this post about being your own worst enemy. You are an inspiration and strong as hell girl! You make me proud to be a woman of strength. There’s a difference between a strong woman and a woman of strength and you’re definitely the later. Thank you for opening up, thank you for being so real, thank you for being you! Love being apart of your journey and coming out a little stronger because of your words! Keep kicking ass!
Xo
Annelise

Linh
Linh

May 03, 2020

❤️❤️❤️❤️

Ekaterina Avhimovich
Ekaterina Avhimovich

May 03, 2020

Morgan, what an amazing post. And what is more amazing is that you took all you had and went threw and made it work to your advantage. It made you into this powerful, inside and out, beautiful woman and soul. And it is amazing that you praise the Lord! He always makes things workout in His time. I just feel and love your good energy. I am so grateful and excited for your blog and so looking forward for all the posts! Really counting the days to your beauty related ones, Queen:))) Cannot wait to see your skin care! Body care too please! Teeth care?! (I got veneers too and wonder if you do anything special to maintain your sparkling smile))). Well, let’s just say i am such a big fan of yours! Xoxoxo

DV
DV

May 03, 2020

Morgan

I had the same life growing up just add sexual abuse and foster homes. This really made me cry.

Danielle Daneshjou
Danielle Daneshjou

May 03, 2020

Morgan!!!
This brings tears to my eyes. I never thought I could love or admire you more than I already did, this post shows your beauty inside and out and an entirely new light. You are such an activist for empowering women! I’m so proud of you. The future is bright!!!
I love you!!!!!!!

Anna
Anna

May 03, 2020

Omg needed this! So inspiring ❤️

Kenneth
Kenneth

May 03, 2020

Girl, you’re a light. Thank you for sharing your journey. I’m a survivor of abuse and I want you to know that you’re doing the work and your path is guided for you!! We love you❤️

Fellaniece
Fellaniece

May 03, 2020

Literally love all of this! Thank you for sharing this with us 💕

Beatris
Beatris

May 03, 2020

Ah, I see what you meant about getting emotional when writing this post.

It’s beautiful.

Sending love

Marija
Marija

May 03, 2020

Anyway I forget to say: only God can judge us, nobody else. Thank you for be so honest!

Marija
Marija

May 03, 2020

Hey Morgan it doesn’t matter how often you fall, it’s about how you get up and that makes you stronger. I’am so f*cking proud off you!! my childhood was also anything but great I feel your pain but that makes you who you are, you are not a b*tch you are super smart and strong! Your blog is great keep it up. Lots off love from Holland.

Claudia
Claudia

May 02, 2020

Amazing ❤️

Stephanie
Stephanie

May 02, 2020

So inspiring Morgan, this post is helping me on my journey more than you know! Keep up the amazing growth you’re doing! Xxx

Alex
Alex

May 02, 2020

Hey Morgan, I know your not looking for sympathy because thats the same thing that I say too when I mention my past to people. I am heartbroken to read how your mother treated you. Ive been there too and truly sorry you had to go through that. Your incredibly strong to post about that openly. I have so much respect and love for you. I see a lot of myself in you. You are a saint Morgan😇 ❤️

I was looking forward to reading your new post all week. Honestly :) and I literally NEVER read anything because reading doesn’t come easy to me (I’m dyslexic) but I read each blog post a couple of times as I enjoy it so much. Please don’t stop posting and keep going.

Skye
Skye

May 02, 2020

Morgan I wish I could give you the biggest hug ! I started following you because I liked your fashion posts – but now it’s total respect and admiration.
You should be so proud of the hard choices you have made and the person that you are today.
Love the blog 💗💗

Valentina
Valentina

May 02, 2020

Hi Morgan, I am an Italian girl and I hope you will excuse my English if it’s not perfectly written..🙏🏻
I can not express in this moment how much your words have touched my soul deep inside.
You are a beautiful and brave soul, but this is something I always knew since when I first saw you with Philippe.
I knew you had a fire inside and I wasn’t wrong! I adore reading you, listening to you and I just want to send you all my love 🖤 please keep doing what you’re doing and you must be really proud of the woman you have become🖤
Let me tell you, it would be such an honor for me to call you my friend 😘 God bless you babe, stay safe and thank you!!!

Valentina
Valentina

May 02, 2020

One of a kind 🖤

Tatum
Tatum

May 02, 2020

Thank you so much for sharing this part of your journey with us! I think you hit a couple of us in the gut with this! It’s wild to think that we are always trying to find ourselves. I’m a 44 year old woman, married 25 years and have a 20 year old son….I am Still looking for myself at times. With growth, we change, and we are growing daily. I find myself getting lost at times, scared, vulnerable, the list goes on….but through therapy and a lot of soul searching, I am proud of who I am today! I like to take life one day at a time! I was waiting for this post, and I want to thank you again…your voice matters so much and your being heard. ❤️💕

Lisa
Lisa

May 02, 2020

I really think you should write a book. I mean that could have been a whole chapter. ❤️

Britt
Britt

May 02, 2020

This is my most favorite post! I wasn’t sure what to expect from this exact post but let me just thank you Morgan! Thank you for saying all the truth we all live yet fail to acknowledge it!

Mitsy Espinoza
Mitsy Espinoza

May 02, 2020

To have someone describe me exactly and to know that someone else has been through this exactly is makes you feel not alone!

I read quote one time that said “please do not judge me for the survival skills I picked up along the way”

I love your blog and I’m soooooooooo proud of you! KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK❤️

Xoxo,

Mitsy

Nat
Nat

May 02, 2020

Another fantastic well-written post. Kudos to you for going sober. I’d love to hear more about your sobriety journey! ❤️

GG
GG

May 02, 2020

You are resilient and strong! Thank you for sharing your story with us. God bless!

Ariana
Ariana

May 02, 2020

This must have taken so much courage. How inspirational Morgan. Life is so precious and your start in life wasn’t fair but my god have you shined and conquered and this is just the beginning for you ☺️ You will do great and wonderful things with that strength

Jennifer Buonagurio
Jennifer Buonagurio

May 02, 2020

Wow this brought tears to my eyes. You are a beautiful, brave and strong soul. Extremely empowering and uplifting to so many who have gone through or going through life struggles and need to know they’re not alone. You can come out of it better and love yourself. I agree a relationship with God is extremely important. I talk to him out loud too and it helps it truly does!
Thank you for being so real.
All positive love and light xox

Tami
Tami

May 02, 2020

This took a very brave girl to write and share! You should be very proud of yourself. This was the best kind of therapy for you beautiful!

Carla Jones
Carla Jones

May 02, 2020

Keep strong you will get where you wish. XX love your posts.

Keri
Keri

May 02, 2020

Thank you for sharing your story. I can relate. My mom has bipolar and treated me the same as your mother did to u….and she still does. Its very hard and sad. She has never done drugs but should…lol..she needs to chill. She refuses all medication which would help tremendously. I grew to be strong and I turned out to get my masters in social work and psychology trying to figure out what was wrong with my mother and why others can be so cruel. She hasnt changed but I have. The relationship I share with God is amazing and wouldnt trade it for the world. I doubt some guy will ever come close. I live in miami and dont trust them at this point. Thank you for sharing something so personal. It just makes you more amazing (if that is even possible) It gives me so much strength. ♥️👄

Keri
Keri

May 02, 2020

Thank you for sharing your story. I can relate. My mom has bipolar and treated me the same as your mother did to u….and she still does. Its very hard and sad. She has never done drugs but should…lol..she needs to chill. She refuses all medication which would help tremendously. I grew to be strong and I turned out to get my masters in social work and psychology trying to figure out what was wrong with my mother and why others can be so cruel. She hasnt changed but I have. The relationship I share with God is amazing and wouldnt trade it for the world. I doubt some guy will ever come close. I live in miami and dont trust them at this point. Thank you for sharing something so personal. It just makes you more amazing (if that is even possible) It gives me so much strength. ♥️👄

Emma
Emma

May 02, 2020

OMG love this x such a strong person to write about what you have been through. Love your honesty, wish u all the luck for your future ❤️ You deserve it so much x

Emma
Emma

May 02, 2020

OMG love this x such a strong person to write about what you have been through. Love your honesty, wish u all the luck for your future ❤️ You deserve it so much x

Mary
Mary

May 02, 2020

Omg😭😭 so inspiring!!! You are so strong!!!!

Bea
Bea

May 02, 2020

This post made me tear up. I too have a rocky past with my mother. She’s not mentally ill but she would constantly call me fat, stupid, ugly, etc. and then blame me because I ended up having mental health issues growing up. I don’t care what anyone says, your childhood has EVERYTHING to do with who you grow up to be. At 21, I’m in the process of trying to overcome those struggles. I won’t lie that it’s been incredibly hard, but hearing your story has given me strength. Morgan, you are so incredibly strong and brave for sharing your story. I hope you know how many people appreciate your rawness.

Sani Mo
Sani Mo

May 02, 2020

Morgan love, thank you for sharing your story. It takes a lot of courage but this is certainly the best way to heal from your past.
It makes me very happy to see how much honesty, love and kindness I can find on this Blog, from your side and also in the comments from all these beautiful and curious people who wanted to get to know you better and deeper. I am following you on Instagram since maybe 4 years and have always been amazed by you not only your beauty and body but also cause of your strength and now that I’ve read your story it all made sense. My heart hurts to hear about the relationship you have had with your mother and as you perfectly said it by yourself, that this was not your fault! She surely has had her own battles especially with mental health to fight and maybe this was the best she could do but most important is how far you have come and realize that through every situation in life how God hast helped you to get through and there we comes to these 2 most important relationships in life..
1. the trust and faith in to God and 2. the trust and faith into yourself.
I can relate to a few things that has happened to you and am now also since 2-3 years actively on my healing path and this is a process. Nobody can say how long it will take, cause we learn every day something new in life but I would like to share with you what has really helped me a lot in this process..
1. A lovely and solid relationship to God (always be more grateful than demanding) 2. to forgive those who have hurt you in life (even if you never heard or never will hear an apology) anger inside of your body will lower your frequency and will in the long run harm your health. 3. Meditation and Yoga (I’m sure you have heard this a lot but I can not tell you how much it has unexpectedly change my life in so many great ways. I have become so much more centered in life and in situation in which I earlier would have probably reacted different).

Tonight I’ll keep you in my prayers and sending you much love and light.

xx Sani

Jenna J
Jenna J

May 02, 2020

I’m so proud of you , Morgan! You have come so far and every struggle/hardship you’ve had has shaped you into the intelligent, kind, strong, independent woman you are today! I’ve followed you for a while now and I’ve always thought you were beautiful, but with each blog post I read the more I love you as a person. Never forget your worth Xo

Sumidesai
Sumidesai

May 02, 2020

Inspiring. Strong. Resilient. Motivating.

Maryana
Maryana

May 02, 2020

Thanks for sharing your incredible story. You are such a strong and beautiful person. You give hope to a lot of people and I appreciate everything that you have shared with us about your life journey. Your future is very bright!
❤️

T
T

May 02, 2020

Your mom sounds borderline

Harina
Harina

May 02, 2020

My first ever comment on your social media ( I have been following you for about two years now). This is truly a very inspirational post! Makes me feel empowered! I hope other girls/women reading this feel the same! Now I can really say, you are my idol for sure! And girl, I only have countable female idols ( okay, you’re the second one ;p).
This comment is to show my love and support and RESPECT!!♥️ Please keep up your good work!

Cynthia Galuppo Tezyk
Cynthia Galuppo Tezyk

May 02, 2020

There is always s a bitch in the bunch and she is the one who LEARNED HOW TO PUNCH BACK. So a man will always attack a beautiful strong lady and when he knows he will never have a chance in hell with her… he will be the loudest to bitch and whine. You are right where God needs you to do bigger and better things, life is not about ALWAYS GETTING EVERYONE’S APPROVAL CODE STAMPED THAT YOU’RE GOLD, or a new diamond rings to show that someone loves you, but your legacy and its ending. Never stop being you! U have been growing leaps and bounds… since I first saw you. Where you have been doesn’t make you a.k.a. we are not what happened happens to us. We are what we make of it!!! Love U Ms. Tezyk

Kassandra
Kassandra

May 02, 2020

Your rawness is EVERYTHING. Reading this is such a huge reminder to myself that I can let go of my past accept it for what it was and just grow and be happy. Literally the strength and confidence you have is just another thing that makes you LEGENDARY!

Angela
Angela

May 02, 2020

You’re amazing Morgan!! <3 x

AK
AK

May 02, 2020

I have never commented on anything you posted but this resonated with me so very deeply as I had the same kind of childhood. I love reading your journey, keep it up!

Kelsye
Kelsye

May 02, 2020

Truly so inspiring ❤️❤️❤️

Priscilla
Priscilla

May 02, 2020

how human of you. <3

Vanessa
Vanessa

May 02, 2020

“THAT BITCH” stronger then ever!! 💋🚨

Anna Ivanova
Anna Ivanova

May 02, 2020

Morgan, no one has ever inspired me like that my entire life. You make me believe life is worth it through all good and bad. Maybe one day I will see you (..not sure🥺) and will be able to hug you and say thank you❤️…

Linda mcmaster
Linda mcmaster

May 02, 2020

Wow so powerful you truly are an amazing beautiful person ,god bless
Morgan❤️

Catalina A Alonso
Catalina A Alonso

May 02, 2020

love it once again so true help m,e a lot with a situation that I am having right now :)

Anna
Anna

May 02, 2020

Thank you for sharing your story❤️ It’s important the stories and lives effected by mental illness are told and not hidden in the shadows. My mom is bipolar I and never managed it sadly so I know some of what you went through.

S
S

May 02, 2020

Maybe that’s where the fascination is for you from your fans- you couldn’t be “normal” if you tried. We all know how diamonds are made babe.

Diamonds( this case MBO) are formed in the Earth’s mantle, somewhere between 1 and 3 billion years ago ( or in this case about 32 years ago) Formed by heat and pressure ( or nature and nurture) diamonds are then delivered to the Earth’s surface by deep-source volcanic eruptions or the movement of subduction zones that bring the diamonds up to the ocean floor ( or La, basically at Sea Level lol!) .

Another moving , vulnerable and soft post. Gave me chills.

Connor Kavanagh-Donaghey (Kyle Pippen)
Connor Kavanagh-Donaghey (Kyle Pippen)

May 02, 2020

Just wow, wow wow wow. Respect & love, always🙏🏼💕

Sandra
Sandra

May 02, 2020

What an incredible read . I waited all week for this . Your truly such a strong woman . May the years ahead be amazing and beautiful like you . Your truly deserve all the happiness in the world . I love love love this can’t wait for the next read ❤️

Elle
Elle

May 02, 2020

Amazing, incredible, inspiring. I’ve been following you on Instagram for around 3 years now and I can definitely say that I noticed that you were guarding or protecting yourself because I do the same! Hardships make people very guarded, I am too still learning and unlearning daily. I still don’t have the balls to face my reality, my past and my traumas let alone post it for the world to read like how you have. You are so strong for being able to do so! I really look up to you and it shows me that it does get better. Thank you for this post Morgan. I sure as hell needed it! 💕

Deborah M
Deborah M

May 02, 2020

Bitchhhh,
Usually the strongest people are the ones who suffered the most. It’s crazy to see you Overcome so much in your life and still look like a fucking queen. When you broke up with Phillip the first time, you never lost “The Morgan touch”, you kept it graceful never showed signs of even giving a fuck you left him (which now confirms to me that’s prob why he always wants you back)) because I like any girl he’s dated you’re fucking real: I mean like deep in the core real. You’ve suffered so much in life that has molded you into this person. Thank your childhood . We wouldn’t be who we are without. It’s bitter sweet but look at the butterfly that came out of this.
Fucking story sis!

saskia loorea
saskia loorea

May 02, 2020

Dearest Morgan, thank you so much for sharing. I can totally relate to everything you said and your Blog has made me cry. Cry for all my years lost through, addiction, and lack of self worth and the pain I allowed others to inflict on me. Today, it is a different story and that is why I relate to you so much. You are a beautiful beacon of light and I thank you once again. Much love and kindness, xxx

Nico
Nico

May 02, 2020

Girl, I have the same Mom… I started to cry reading this. Add a touch of Foster homes… all of it.

I FEEL this. Thanks for sharing! Xo

Eryn
Eryn

May 02, 2020

First I want to thank you for sharing this particular post. I can only imagine how hard it was to be so transparent with us, moreover to relive certain experiences. Although my narrative isn’t the same, I’ve been through my fair share of shit within my 24 years of life. Throughout my journey, I can genuinely say that I forgot how to love myself; I allowed myself to lose my identity. As a result, I often would seek validation from men. Moreover I have this crazy habit of dating significantly older men (which didn’t help the situation- daddy issues). Nonetheless, it wasn’t until recently that I realized that I needed a change; that the love that I wanted from these men is the same love that I should’ve given myself. This self love journey has been a lonely one thus far, but its equally rewarding. In saying this, thank you for reassuring me that I’m not a bitch for wanting to love myself and have high standards. Also, that its okay for me to make mistakes and to grow from them- my mistakes do not define my character. You’ve shown me that I’m allowed to be both a masterpiece and a work in progress, simultaneously.
xo

Marciano
Marciano

May 02, 2020

What an amazing read, can relate so much to you, especially coming out of a relationship and trying to find that love for yourself again! Thank you Morgan for always keeping it real

JV
JV

May 02, 2020

Wow. I cried. You got me thinking about my life, my struggles and so much. I’m so proud of you Morgan. I can’t wait to see what else this beautiful life has in store for you, you deserve it. I’m so glad on your growth a lot of younger kids in who grew up in your position never progress and grown from those sad situation and grow up lost. You’re strong because you gave yourself the gift of growth. Reading this also made me realize and accept things in my life. Thank you. I’ll always support you Morgan.

Jade
Jade

May 02, 2020

Morgan, I love your voice so much. You are speaking right into my heart when you say to live your truth unapologetically. I am struggling a lot right now and reading this is incredibly, incredibly touching and heartfelt and fucking amazing. I’ve never met you but I love your soul so much. <3

nicole
nicole

May 02, 2020

so inspiring babe

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